Both Rounds

An Unplanned Encounter

Kay and I never planned to become lovers, it just sort of happened. We moved in the same social circles and knew a lot people in common, but the two us had never really paid that much attention to each other, just casual acquaintances. Seems a little odd now, after all we both had a well established reputation for spending far too much time in other people’s beds, but we’d never hooked up for some reason. I think both of us were to busy chasing other people to notice each other. It happened at a party, Celia and her wife’s anniversary actually. While Kay and I are bi, we tend toward women usually, sort of the opposite of bi-curious I guess. So there were, wall to wall lesbians, the two of us should have been in heaven. But no, both of us had just gone through a breakup and our exes where there, which always kind of puts a damper on things. Actually both of us had slept with most of the women at the party. The old joke about lesbian parties and five of your exes being there isn’t really that far from the truth.

Somehow we ended up on a couch next to each other and just started talking. We’d never really talked before. Sure we’d had a few casual chats and the like, but never talked or got to know the other. The conversation started off light, comparing notes on the various women and their performance in bed, Sunita’s peculiar way of eating pussy, Nicki’s love of being tied down, Alice’s snoring. But then we moved on to our lives. Was surprising how similar we were. Both been trained in ballet, both loved science fiction, both liked the same music, both hated being tall, very similar sense of humour, so much in common. I don’t think either of us took the lead, our hands just sort of fell together and then we leaned in and kissed. Our lips hardly touched but it was electric. When our lips parted we just stayed, not kissing but barely apart, staring into each others eyes. Kay broke the silence “your bed or mine?” I answered “Yours, mine next time.” We already knew there’d be a next time. We slipped away from the party, nobody saw us.

We’d both been drinking, not drunk but not safe to drive either, so we called a cab. As soon as we got in we were all over each other, lips locked together, hands franticly exploring, touching, foundling, discovering how our bodies felt and worked. I could see the driver adjust his mirror to watch us playing in the back. So could Kay. She whispered “lets put on a show” and I mischievously nodded. I felt her hand slip under the soft fabric of my blouse, lifting my bra as her fingers began to tease my erect nipples. I slid my hand between her legs under her tight mini skirt. The lace of her panties was already moist to my touch. I stroked her clit though the lace as we kissed, I could feel her body trembling as she could feel mine. We both moaned softly as our hands began to drive us wild. I swear the driver seemed way more interested in us that what was on the road. When we pulled up at Kay’s place he asked if we needed any help getting to the door. Kay sniggered “Sorry I’m having her all to myself tonight honey.”

As soon as we got through the door Kay pinned me against the wall and locked her lips to mine as she reached behind and slowly unzipped my dress then pushed the straps aside to let it fall to the ground. There was an impish grin as she unhooked my bra then slid her hands down my body as I shivered at her soft touch. She slipped her thumbs in my panties and began to push down. Then she froze. Her voice was hesitant, uncertain, almost embarrassed “I’ve… errr… I’ve never been with a trans woman before. Ummmm… is this okay? May I take these off and touch you down there?” I kissed her “Thank you for asking, most don’t. I’m pretty much on top of my dysphoria now, I’ll let you know if you do anything wrong.” The impish grim returned and my panties joined the rest of my outfit on the floor. Her arms kept me pinned to the wall as she devoured my vulnerable naked body with her eyes letting out a low growl.

She started with my breasts, slowly sucking, licking, teasing. Then one hand moved between my legs, caressing and massaging what she found. As she worked my body she could feel my excitement growing, but she didn’t realise what she was doing. I don’t cum like most people, certainly not like a man and not really like most woman either. It started with a warm tingling in my core as she teased my breasts and stroked below. It spread slowly at first, then exploded, setting every nerve in my body on fire as I screamed. Her head came up in stunned surprise “Did I do that?” I just grinned and nodded as she went back to work. The next orgasm hit maybe ten seconds later, then another, and another and another. They just kept coming, wave after wave. I lost count at twenty, but eventually she let me go. My body was like jelly, I just slid down the wall and rolled over on the floor.

She just looked at me laying there unable to move and laughed “Hot damn woman, now that’s one way to boost a girl’s ego.” Then that impish grin again “But my turn now.” She hitched up her tight short skirt and plunged down, straddling my face with her thighs, arms pinned by her knees. She just sat there awhile, wriggling her hips, rubbing her now wet panties in my face, letting me savour her delicious scent. With one hand she moved the soft lacy fabric aside. I didn’t wait to be told what to do and immediately began sucking and licking her clit, then using my tongue to explore her waiting pussy, seeking the places she liked the best. Didn’t take long before she was gasping and moaning, rocking her hips back and forth, driving her clit against my eager mouth. I worked me like she’d worked me, her breathing was soon growing deeper and faster as she started to groan “Make me cum honey, make me cum.” I was more than happy to oblige, working faster and harder, her panties now soaking. Then her turn to scream as she unleashed her flood and collapsed forward.

She lay there motionless for several minutes before she rolled over and turned to face me. I propped myself up on one elbow “You know, we never actually made it to your bed. ”She chuckled “No we didn’t” then a pause “Yet… You up for round two. I have toys in there.” I couldn’t stop myself from grinning “Yep” my turn to pause “You know that taxi driver’s shift probably ends soon.” She nodded “Yeah he was kind of cute, pity I didn’t get his number.” I chuckled now and reached for my bag “It’s okay, I did.”

Round Two

Kay and I had hooked up for the first time at party, been all over each other in the taxi back to her place. And well, just getting through the door had been quite spectacular. We were laying on the floor by the door, me naked, her panties and mini skirt soaked through for her juices. The cab driver hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off us, even asked if he could join us. Kay had said no but I’d got his number. He’d be over in about twenty minutes. I looked at those wet delicate briefs and tight skirt clinging to her “Here let me take those off for you.” She didn’t argue, just lay there and let me. I lightly kissed her neatly trimmed bush as I slipped her sodden panties from her. She smiled “Feel free to eat up honey.” I was still recovering so just gave back “You have far too many clothes on.” She nodded “Yes, you should do something about that.” I leaned over, kissed her tenderly and drew her top slowly over her head.

She had a stunning dancers figure, tall, slender, not a gram of fat on her. But her bra, I really had to stifle a laugh at her bra, one of those cheap beige sexless things you pick up in a discount store. She noticed “Hey it’s comfortable and I really wasn’t planning on getting laid tonight.” I was still fighting back that laugh “Yes I’m sure.” She put on a demure bashful voice “Well if you don’t like it, you can always take it off me.” That sounded like an excellent idea, so I reached around, unhooked her bra and gently removed it to expose two luscious pert mounds. She was a little fuller than me, 10C, I’m just a 14B. I like small boobs and she was about what I think the perfect size.

It was about then we noticed we’d left the door open. She looked at it “Do you think we should shut it?” I snorted “Nah, maybe we’ll give the neighbours a thrill.” That brought a giggle “Ah, an exhibitionist, another thing we have in common.” Her voice turned serous “Ummm, honey, As I said, you’re my first trans woman, and don’t want to screw up. So may I ask you something?” I appreciated her concern and nodded “Well, ummm, what do I call that?” She pointed between my legs. I was embarrassed by the answer “Ahhh, err, ummm… I’m pretty okay with my body, but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to use that parts name.” She smiled and hugged me “It’s okay honey, I understand.” I added “If it helps I sort of think of it as my clit.” Her eyes seemed to light up and her impish grin was back “Mmm, I love a clit in my mouth, may I?” All I could think to say was “Be my guest.”

Her head went down while her tongue began to dart over the tip of my ‘clit.’ She was damn good at this. She began slowly drawing me into her mouth, sucking and licking all the while. It felt so good, not like a regular blow job, she really was treating it like a clit. I was moaning and stretching, back arched as she brought me to new levels of ecstasy. She began stoking my inner thighs. The orgasm hit instantly, no tingling, no slow spread, just wham my body was on fire. I couldn’t even scream. Time seemed to stand still as the feelings slowly started to fade. But she didn’t stop, wham the next hit, then the next, and next. I’m not sure how many times she made me cum, they all ran into each other. When she finally oh so slowly let me slip from her mouth I was just laying there, dopey grin on my face, unable to move.

She couldn’t stop laughing “Well you’re full of surprises, Not just your boobs which set you off, anywhere else?” I tried to speak but all I managed was “Lots.” She kissed me “Well I’m going to have to explore every part of you.” Her voice went back to that serious tone “Umm another question” a pause “No good way to ask this, but… errr… do you ever… you know… fuck old school?” My senses were returning and I laughed “Well not top of my list, but yeah, if my partner is into it.” She was grinning now “Oh I’m into it, flesh and blood beats a strap on.” she paused again “And… cum old school?” I laughed “I can sometimes, but takes a lot.” Her grin was growing “Honey, would you please fuck me old school, me on top.” Once again I just said “Be my guest.”

I lay on my back as she straddled me and slowly lowered her dripping pussy, positioning herself. Then one quick movement and I was inside her. I had to draw breath “Oh my god you’re so tight!” She leaned forwards, her breasts brushing mine and whispered “Very.” She didn’t ride me like other women do, up and down. More rocking back and forth, her hips rising and falling, her clit pressed into my pelvis, rubbing against me. She let out a long sigh and started to pick up the pace, our breasts brushing as she rocked, moaning “Yes, yes, yes.” We heard a noise behind us, the driver had arrived, been there awhile apparently. Kay turned, tossed him some lube and a condom from her bag and barked “Well what you waiting for? Get your cock in my arse and make me and my girlfriend cum.” He seemed stunned for a moment, then just dropped his pants, already hard from watching.

I watched as he put on the condom, then lubed up Kay and himself. He was quite large, at least eight and Kay let out a gasp as he entered her. I whispered “You okay?” She nodded “Yeah fine.” I could feel his cock pressing against me, just a thing layer of Kay’s flesh separating us. He started thrusting hard almost immediately, I snapped at him “Wait, give her time to adjust, and go slow” He listened, apparently I can be little scary sometimes, when needed. I’d done DP before, but with Kay it was different somehow, Feeling his cock rubbing against me inside her, just felt different. We both were starting to breathe hard as he picked up the pace. Watching us fucking had got him really worked up and soon he was pounding Kay’s arse for all he was worth. Kay and I were panting now, I could tell she was close as he forced her clit to rub against me. I was trembling too, a feeling growing down there. We both came together, the two of us screaming as I came old school. But he kept pounding then let out a long groan as cum pumped rhythmical from his pulsing cock.

He pulled out as Kay and I lay holding each other. She whispered “I felt that, old school.” I nodded. Then she added “I also saw you wince, why didn’t you tell me coming that way hurt you?” I looked down “Not much and it’s a good pain. ”She kissed me “Yeah I know the kind.” He was getting ready to leave and I was pretty spent, must have cum at least fifty times, probably more. But Kay wasn’t, she wanted one more thing. She spread her legs in front of him “If you eat my girlfriend’s cum out of me, you can join us again.” He hesitated, but his cock was beginning to stretch his jeans again. “I will if she sucks me off.” Kay was going to argue, but I quickly said “Okay.” Must admit it probably wasn’t my best blow job. Rather distracted by the delicious sight of Kay loving it as he lapped up every drop of my juice from her pussy, it was so hot watching him pleasuring her. But he seemed happy when blew a second load in my mouth. There was a slight drizzle of his cum leaking from the corner of my mouth. Kay took one finger, delicately wiped it off, then sensually licked it from her finger, smiling at me.

When he did leave, we still were laying on the floor, we hadn’t got off it since our first session. I looked at her, I had to ask “Girlfriend?” There was a chuckle “Don’t worry, I’m not a U-Haul lesbian, not going to be getting a trailer to move in with you tomorrow. It just seemed better if he thought we were.” I murmured my agreement. Kay smirked “We still didn’t get to my bed.” Another nod from me. Then “You know I’m really looking forward to getting to my bed tonight.” I just looked at her, taking her all in “Yeah you must be shattered, I am.”’ That impish grin of hers was back “No, something I want in it.” It didn’t click for some reason “What?” She kissed me once more “You.”

Straight till wet

Kay and I had been going together nearly a year. Nothing too serious, more than just casual playmates, less than full on girlfriends, it suited us both. We had a lot in common, both adventurous, both very high sex drive, both loved threesomes, both tall and hot, we fitted well together. Sure a bit odd, me trans and her not, and certainly she was more popular than me. But that didn’t bother me, I got more than enough attention and liked hearing her stories, plus she made sure I wasn’t left out when we were together. Though we’re both bi, we usually went for a guy for our threesomes, less complications.

It was a warm summer evening, we were out of town and looking for fun. I was wearing a close fitting spaghetti strap top, tight skinny jeans with a studded leather belt and three inch heel boots highlighting my long legs and tall slender frame, streetgirl tough. Kay was in a loose low cut top and flowing short skirt showing off her lithe figure perfectly, sexy and feminine. We spotted him in a bar, he immediately caught both our eye. Good looking, confident, strong, dressed smart but casual. Kay made the approach, she always does, asked him to join us. We chatted, relaxed pleasant conversation, getting to know one another. It was going well, so Kay and I checked in when he went to get us some more drinks. We agreed, we both wanted him, so she invited him back to our room when he returned. He was unsure at first, he’d never been with a trans woman, let alone a trans and cis woman at the same time. He said he was straight, I joked “so is spaghetti until you get it wet.” He chuckled at that and eventually nervously agreed, though only to touching from me. I smiled, they rarely stop with just touching once they get started.

When we got back to our room, Kay went to the bathroom to change as I chatted with him alone, putting him at ease about me. Kay came out wearing one of her sexy skimpy negligees. She looked so hot, she always does. I didn’t undress or change my clothes, didn’t want to push him too far too fast, let him get used to the situation, become comfortable with a trans woman involved. We all sat on the bed, still just chatting. I casually started slowly stroking Kay’s back as we talked. She responded, nonchalantly running her fingers back and forth along my thigh. The conversation changed, more sexual, more flirty, the temperature rising. Kay and I kept just quietly caressing and stroking, but allowing our hands to begin straying. He was clearly being turned on by the sight of our subtle play growing ever more intimate, as we just kept casually chatting. Eventually we kissed, a soft gentle lingering kiss. We both smiled, he was so aroused by the show we were putting on. We kissed again, a long passionate kiss this time and I unwrapped Kay for him to see, pulling the negligee over her head in one swift motion. Our play grew ever more overtly sexual, exploring each other’s body, touching, kissing, teasing.

He was watching us hungrily as we pleasured each other, his erection straining against his jeans. My fingers were inside Kay now, stroking her warm wet pussy as she moaned softly. He just watched us play together until Kay invited him to join the show. I swear he almost ripped his clothes as he flung them off. His mouth engulfed Kay’s breasts while my fingers where burred deep in her pussy. I smiled as she writhed then let my hand gently slip from Kay’s soaking pussy, commanding him to “eat her.” He dove eagerly, devouring wetness as she squirmed while I quickly stripped, peeling myself free from my clothes. I returned my attention to Kay, flicking my tongue over her erect nipples, while her hand fondled my breasts. My turn to squirm now. With her free hand she directed him from her pussy to her other breast as I returned my hand inside her. Her eyes fluttered with us both licking and sucking those perfect mounds, my hand finding the special places inside her pussy. I could see how hard he was now, and well he’d said I could touch, so I began to caress his balls and stroke his cock. He yielded to my touch so easily, I smiled at Kay with my eyes and she smiled back, she knew what I wanted.

The tip of his cock was glistening with pre-cum and I was hungry for it’s taste. She asked if I could take him in my mouth. He hesitated, this was more than just touch. But his desire for us both was burning so hot and he said yes. I began as I always do, soft flicks of my tongue over the moist head of his rock hard cock while one hand massaged his balls and I drew my nails up and down the shaft with the other. He most definitely did not resist, his hips thrusting toward my mouth. I took him in my mouth, my lips tight as I sucked him eagerly, tongue working his shaft, hand his balls at the same time. Then plunged my head down right to the base of his cock, his full length now deep in my mouth, savouring the sweet tastes as his pre-cum leaked out. I sucked him hard while Kay pushed his head back to a sopping wet pussy, He ate her while I ate him, all three of us now lost in the throws of passion. His hand reached out for what was between my legs, his touch firm, though his inexperience showed. I took over and directed his hand with mine, wordlessly showing him how to touch me, how to go lightly, treat it as he would a clit, not a dick.

His cock was twitching in my mouth now, reaching the edge. But no not yet, so much more fun to be had. I slowly slid my mouth along his cock one more time, kissing the engorged head, then told him “fuck her.” I knew Kay was eager to feel his full length inside her, have him pound her relentlessly. He obeyed and pushed his gleaming shaft into her. I massaged his balls as he thrust while Kay and my lips locked together as we kissed deep and hard. I kept urging him to fuck her hard, stretching her tight wet pussy. The harder he pumped her, the more moaned and writhed, the more aroused I became. Kay could see how turned on watching him pound her was making me. She beckoned me to her and took me in her mouth, expertly drawing me in and sucking as her restlessly fucked her.

His thrusts were growing ever faster now, his breathing hard, he was so close. I slipped from Kay’s mouth and returned to cupping and stroking his balls and urged him on. He came hard, groaning as he unleashed his load. I could feel his cock pulsing as he pumped cum into her, then he slumped, drained. Kay smiled at me, her eyes directing me to her pussy. I happily obliged, she knows how I love the taste of cum mixed with her juices. I leaned over to where he’d slumped, gently took his cock in my hand and started working with tongue. First slow circling motions to clean the head, then to the shaft, my tongue running up and down the shaft, drawing in every delicious drop. I gave his cock a last gentle kiss before I turned to Kay. I slipped my hand inside her as my tongue started delving deep within her, seeking out his load. My hand worked her and my flicked her clit as I lapped and sucked his cum from her pussy. I could feel her body tensing as I greedily sough every trace of the sweet fluid inside her. Panting suddenly her back arched and she let out a long moan as came, her pussy squirting, filling my mouth with her precious juice. I looked up, smiling, letting her juice trickle down my throat.

My turn now. Kay slid her head between my legs and let her lips glide as she took me in her mouth. Her head rose and fell as she sucked for all she was worth. I felt a hand between my legs, a rough hand, a spurring hand, his hand. He whispered to Kay “May I,” his voice timid and hesitant.” Her mouth slid from me and with an impish grin answered “Yes.” He’d never done this before. But Kay’s a good teacher and he learnt quickly. Soon he was sucking me almost as well as her. Her mouth now moved to my breasts, each in turn, teasing them. She’s has learnt every inch of my body and knows exactly where to touch me. It took only a minute or two of her caressing my neck and sucking my breasts while he worked between my legs to have me screaming, the first of many full body orgasm exploding to fill my core.

I lost count how many times they made me cum before eventually they relented and let me collapse unable to move. We all just lay there, satisfied but exhausted. He’d never seen or experienced anything like Kay and I before, but he was eager to join us again. We let him stay, three laying silently till we fell asleep in each others arms.

Password Straight853

Swerf’n’terfs and Nazis

https://www.lemkininstitute.com/statements-new-page/statement-on-the-genocidal-nature-of-the-gender-critical-movement%E2%80%99s-ideology-and-practice

This is an interesting read and makes very good points. I ran across it on twitter. The comments were ‘interesting.’ There were two general types.

A) anti people calling it ludicrous, saying things such as they were “only trying to defend women’s rights” or “we’re not against trans people, just don’t want them doing X.”
B) Pro trans people saying it proved anti trans activists were Nazis or as bad as Nazis.

Both of these are wrong.

I had an uncle who actually survived the Nazi camps. The strongest person I’ve ever known. He was the first person I came out as trans to. He told me to stop fucking around and be be my true self. Apparently he’d met a few trans women in the camp he was in, he had no problem with them. He thought anyone who end up in the camps was probably okay.

I know what his response to the arguments of “we’re just defending women’s rights” and “we only want to stop trans people doing X” would be.

– For the first “the Nazis said they were only defending German rights.”
– For the second “That’s how it starts. The Nazis said they were fine with Jews, they just wanted to stop them doing this. Then they just wanted to stop them doing that. Then stop them doing something else, and another thing, and then another, and another, and then you had camps.”

I know that’s what he’d say because he said it often about a lot of things, whenever anyone made those kind of arguments to defend what he thought was wrong.

I said this on twitter, it started to go viral as proof anti trans activists were in fact Nazis. I deleted the comments. Why? Because anti trans activists are not Nazis, not even close, and saying they are is an insult to what my uncle and the others touched by the Nazis horrors suffered. It’s also incredibly counter productive, running the risk of people totally discounting what you say because it is blatantly obvious anti trans activists are no where near as bad as Nazis. But this does not mean the comparison is inappropriate, just you must take care when making it.

My uncle would not have said anti trans activists were Nazis. But what he would have said is the use the same tactics, arguments and methods to advance their agenda, the same playbook. The same fear mongering, plays to emotion and demonisation of a minority. And this in and of itself is vile and worthy of condemnation. If you have to use the Nazi playbook to push your ideology, it means you can’t advance it any other way. It means it can not be supported by logic and rational argument. It means your ideology is morally and ethically bankrupt. And it also means, you know this.

Countless different ideologies have been advanced through this playbook and the Nazis were far from the first to use it. All of them have been morally bankrupt. So anti trans activists are not Nazis, please don’t say they are. The Nazis horrors went far beyond the genocide they committed, and in the end they would have exterminated those they claimed to be protecting rather than let them fall from their grasp. But anti trans activists are using the same vile playbook and this is very definitely worth mentioning.

Finally there’s the question of genocide, though I wouldn’t use that word, too emotionally laden. When people people think of genocide, they think of only of mass murder, Nazis, Stalin, the Khmer Rouge, Rwanda, Armenia. While these are doubtless examples of genocide, they are examples of its most obvious form, there are others.

Genocide at its heart is any attempt to eliminate a minority group, you don’t have to murder them to do this. Countless nations have introduced linguistic and cultural policies which are aimed at eliminating minorities, prevent them living as who they are, instead forcing them to be assimilated into to the majority. This is also genocide, genocide by making it impossible for them live as who they are.

So is there an ongoing trans genocide? No not currently, though in some places things are close to it. But more importantly is the elimination of trans people the ultimate aim of anti trans activists? Yes it is. If you listen to them, read the works of the core ideologues such as Shelia Jeffreys, Janice Raymond, Kathleen Stock etc it is clear their ultimate aim is to make it impossible for trans people, particularly trans women, to live as themselves.

They wish to deny them identity documents, access to facilities and services, protection from discrimination, violence and abuse, access to medical treatment etc. Some such as Janice Raymond have spelled out explicitly their aim is the elimination of trans people. While I would say their aim is the elimination of trans people rather than use the term genocide, that is simply because of how people perceive genocide. Making it impossible for trans people to live as trans is genocide, no if buts or maybes. And this is their ultimate aim, they have quite plainly stated it. Genocide.

Dating preferences and transphobia

Is not wanting to date trans people transphobic? Cis people seem a little obsessed with this. Yes I am well aware a lot of trans people are as well. But that’s because trans people face significant issues with people refusing to date them just because they’re trans. Over 50% of cis people flat out refusing to date trans people under any circumstances (climbing to 98% when it comes to heterosexual cis men). As far as I’m aware cis people face no such blanket rejection for simply being cis.

So my first thoughts are why on earth do cis people seem to continually want trans people to validate their preference not to date them? I mean if 50% of European people refused to date African people nobody would be going around demanding Africans constantly tell Europeans “no no, that doesn’t look one little bit racist at all.” My second thought is, why on earth does it matter? If you don’t want to date someone for whatever reason, you shouldn’t even try. For the very practical reason that is a train wreck about to happen for both people.

So if if it’s your preference not to date trans people, cool, that should be totally respected whatever your reason is. But that only means nobody should be going around trying to pressure or force you to go against your preference. It does not mean people can’t say “hey that’s transphobic” if you bring it up. Of course this should be said respectfully and without insults or abuse, but it’s still fine to say it. If you think this wrong and the reasons behind your preference aren’t transphobic by all means state them. But again, why did you bring it up in the first place, your preference is still valid.

But you do have to own your preference and not expect trans people to take responsibility for them. This means

A) It’s yout job to police it. It’s your job to ask if someone is trans, trans people are under no obligation to tell you. They very might tell you, there a very good reasons to do that, and many do. But that’s up to them and their choice when and how. But it’s also fine if they don’t tell you. If you believe trans people are under some obligation to inform every potential partner they are trans, that is transphobic. Same goes for genitals, your job to ask about them if you have a preference. If you don’t and it turns out the person you’re interested in is trans or has wrong genitals, that’s on you. If you try to put it on the trans person or make it their fault, get angry etc, that again is transphobic Likewise automatically excluding trans people just in case they have the wrong genitals, also is transphobic. This is not a special right of trans people, it applies to ALL preferences. If for instance, someone didn’t want to date someone who was once a sex worker, your job to ask them about it, not those have been sex workers to tell every potential partner. They may choose to, but even then they choose when and how. And if they choose not to and the other person doesn’t ask, they have every right to assume the other person has no issue with them having been a sex worker.

B) The only thing ALL trans people have in common is they are trans. Therefore if you exclude ALL of them, that is the only thing which can be the reason. Please don’t rely on BS excuses. Want to have children? I assume you’re planning on asking all potential partners for a fertility check. Trans women usually have sperm put aside. Trans men, hey you got two wombs to pick from. The trans women are men, trans men are women etc excuse? Please that is transphobia 101.

C) There is absolutely no need to broadcast your preference. It’s cool to have a preference, but why do you need to tell the world about it? The only reason I can think of is to seek to publicly justify it, which tends to indicate the reason behind it may well be transphobic. Society goes out of it’s way to make trans people feel unattractive and undesirable enough already without cis people going out of their way to say how they won’t date them. The same applies to genital preferences. Trans people are very well aware of these, there is no need for them to justify them, so please don’t broadcast them. That seems very much like demanding trans people validate your preference. Demanding trans people validate your preference as not being transphobic is saying you have more right to define transphobia than those actually affected by it. And it’s totally unnecessary, anyway. Even if the reason behind your preference is transphobic, your preference is still perfectly valid and should be respected. You don’t need anyone to justify it for you.

All this may make it seem like there is never a legitimate reason to exclude all trans people. That’s not true, there are, I can think of two right off the top of my head. You have endured significant trauma at the hands of a trans person. Note this is not significant trauma at the hands of a cis man. That’s a damn good reason for genital preference, but not for excluding all trans people. Some trans women yes, but not all. Regardless, yes significant trauma is a very legitimate reason for a preference, just please be sure your aim is true. Another legitimate reason I can think of is you’ve tried dating a significant number of trans people and they’ve ended up train wrecks. This is why I generally avoid dating cis people. What’s a significant number or trauma? Like porn its hard to define but you know it when you see it. I’m sure there are other legitimate reasons I haven’t thought of, so please don’t rely on bs reasons. Because virtually all the reasons presented are bs reasons, and those are transphobic. Also please remember, even with a legitimate reason, there’s no need to broadcast it. Unless you’re in a situation where someone is interested in dating someone else, I can’t see any reason to mention your preferences other than to demand they be validated.

That being said, even if your reason is transphobic, still cool, don’t go trying to go against it and it still must be respected by others. But understand that only means nobody should be trying to get you to go against it, As I said doesn’t mean people can’t say your reason is transphobic. However, once agin that should be done respectfully, because just having such a preference doesn’t make you a transphobic bigot. You have to be an arsehole for that. Unfortunately, using a BS excuse to justify can well make you an arsehole, as can going around demanding trans people restrict the definition of transphobia to exclude what you’re doing.

Getting Lucky

We as a society think of abuse, sexual and domestic, as a male offence. Men abuse women and children. You’ll frequently see a number around 98% over offenders being male stated. This simply isn’t true, current research puts the number of female abusers at around 20% in both categories. But we’d rather not see this, we go out of our way not too. This has a huge impact on those who endure abuse at the hands of a woman. Our abuse is ignored, discounted, minimised and outright disbelieved, often we’re belittled and even presented as the actual abuser. And I’ll make something crystal clear right here. When I say woman or female throughout this I’m talking about cisgender women and females. Transgender women do abuse, no argument about that, but when they do, they’re treated as men, Nobody refuses to see trans women as abusers, in fact a lot go out of their way to see them as such.

In my case, abuse by women has been a significant factor in my life. I endured severe and prolonged abuse at the hands of a female relative in my early childhood and pre teen years. During my teen years there is abuse by a woman school teacher. As an adult I’ve had seven seriously abusive female partners, with many others being controlling and emotionally manipulative. I have endured abuse at the hands of men, a lot. I’m not going to give numbers or talk about the men who’ve abused me this, it’s not about them. That my female partner brutally abused me in 1987 in no way takes away from the fact my male partner did exactly the same in 1984. The only difference is the way we as a society treats the two cases. I haven’t had a male partner since 1989, they’ve all been women, trans and cis. And five of those woman, all cis, have been seriously abusive. While I have of lots of examples of just how differently society treats male and female abusers, and how harmful that is, just one will do.

At high school two teachers manipulated me into having sex with them. This was before my transition, so I was presenting and seen as male. One of them was in their early fifties, the other their late forties. I was 13 with one and 15 with the other. Both continued using me for years, two with the first, three with the second. Neither used violence or force, instead relying on emotional manipulation to get me to have sex with them, paying me attentions, telling me I was special, smart and good looking etc. Both told me what was happening was a romantic relationship, but that I had initiated it and would get in trouble if it were discovered, so therefore everything had to be kept secret, that they were protecting me. Both maintained total control over when and where we had any contact and what happened when we did. With both the sex was always to meet their needs and desires. They told me I was their lover, but in reality I was just a living breathing sex doll for them and that’s how they left me feeling. It was all my fault and I just good for sex. The only difference between these two teachers is one was male, the other female. But how society chooses to see them is vastly different. The male is a disgusting paedophile who groomed and abused me. The female is a deeply troubled women who seduced me into a relationship. Society is unwilling to see the actions by the woman as in anyway even similar to the identical actions of the man.

The vastly different way male and female abusers are regarded hurts, it keeps the abuse alive and prevents those who’ve endured it healing. A little while ago, the subject of older women having sex with teen boys came up in discussion between my significant other and myself. She made all the stereotypical arguments which society holds about these things. She argued it wasn’t that bad, the boys concerned would see themselves as having ‘got lucky’ and it didn’t qualify as abuse or rape because no harm would be done. Certainly in no way comparable to an adult male and a teen girl. She is aware I’ve been abused during my pre-teen years and at school when I was a teenager, though not the precise details. I brought up the my case, the female teacher, saying I most definitely hadn’t seen it that way, that what had happened to me was abuse, how it had left me feeling everything was my fault, what I’d done was wrong and all I was good for was sex. This didn’t change anything for her. She said some things which were very dismissive in fact. I was very hurt and upset. So I explained I needed a time out and went to my room to calm down.

A little while later she came in to see if I was okay. I wasn’t, I’d completely lost it, broken down sobbing, utterly beside myself. I managed to choke out through the tears that I was only what age I’d been and how old the teacher was. That there was no way I could have consented and I’d been dealing with people telling exactly what she’d just told me all my life and that made it all my fault. She apologised saying she hadn’t realised how young I was. I accepted that, I had mentioned who old I was at the time, but it was an intense situation, she could have easily missed it. We talked a little more as I calmed down. I explained how for my whole life people had been dismissing and discounting what she’d done, telling I’d got lucky and how much it hurt. She seemed to understand. Then she said “but was it easy” meaning was it easy for the woman to get me to have sex. I was beyond hurt at this, I hadn’t been angry before, but now I was completely furious. I just said one word “leave.” She could see the anger and realised just how much she’d crossed the line, so she left. It took a hell of a long time for me to calm down. She has offered an apology, accepted what she said was over way the line, and I’ve accepted it. But the hurt from what she said hasn’t gone away and I was damn close to ending a six year relationship because of it.

What they said, those words “was it easy” sums up society’s attitude toward female abusers in a nutshell. There is no way in hell anyone would ever ask that about a male abuser, but for a woman, it is in everyone’s mind. That I in someway wanted and benefited from what she did, that it was nowhere near as bad as what the male teacher did. I have had to deal with this all my life. I am usually extremely reluctant to reveal how much abuse I have endured at the hands of women, or even that I have endured any at all. I usually only do so when I’m pissed off at he “oh you lucky” attitude or the “we can’t talk about female abusers because we’ll distract from male abusers” bullshit.

I was going to put in some kind of breakdown of the number and severity of male verses female abusers in my life. I decided against doing that. I’m sick and tired of pandering to the “oh you have to mention male abuse too” crap which has to be included whenever this is talked about. I should be able to talk about hurt by even just one woman caused me without having to worry about what men do. Yeah they’ve hurt me to too. Which group hurt me more and how do the numbers of each stack up? What the fuck does it matter? They all hurt me, why on earth would you want to keep score with abuse?.

That a 47 year old female teacher abused me when I was 13 does in no way change, deny or diminish the fact that 51 year old male one did when I was 15. That women also abuse at far higher rate than society is willing to accept does not take away one iota from the fact that there are more men who abuse. The difference between the male teacher and the female one is he stopped hurting me when he stopped abusing me. She may have stopped abusing me, but she hasn’t stopped hurting me. And that’s despite the fact in all likelihood she’s long dead.

She’s still hurting me because society keeps denying, dismissing and discounting what she did, instead saying how I got lucky. Constantly telling me that what she did didn’t happen, doesn’t matter, wasn’t that bad, I must have wanted it too, I enjoyed it, and anyway she only did it because she was a troubled woman. Guess what? It did happen, it does matter, it was that bad, I didn’t want it, I didn’t enjoy it and what the fuck does it matter why she did it, she did it. I didn’t get lucky, I got fucking raped!

Losing

Losing – 054

Needs and wants
All her’s are loaded
On to me
And mine not wanted

Control and power
From a lie unloving
Hopes and dreams
Me still all forgiving

Field burnt hollow
No rules to find
Love lies fallow
Her words they wind

Twist and turn
The ground keeps moving
Words that burn
And I keep losing

Arms cross safe
Her voice now raising
Body does shake
Just more is bringing

Time is nearing
Rage now in sight
Fear is growing
No will for flight

Dam it breaks
Her hand now rising
Tears that fall
From our past recalling

Head bowed low
Her hand now falling
World it spin
Warm floor is calling

Blood that flows
Her face so cold
Lose all value
With my body sold

Her reason gone
Her words are screaming
Rod that swings
A sound of cracking

Voice now silent
No tears are falling
Pray to leave
This is not living

This was written about one hour after the incident. It is unfinished, the rhyming scheme is slightly wrong. At the time I was unable to work on it after the event. The next morning, scared she might find it, I transferred it to computer and destroyed the paper copy. A few hours later, still frightened of discovery, I deleted that. After I got out, I believed it lost. Then several years later I was searching through an old backup looking for a file and I found a copy. I assume an auto backup had run, catching the file before I deleted it. I considered finishing it but decided to leave it exactly as it is, my feelings one hour latter. I find it one of the two most powerful pieces of writing I have done.